The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Umm I'm too high to move.
where am i from again
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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