Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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