mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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