i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
please come you make the beer taste better
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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