What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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