if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
