He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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