You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
