I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
