if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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