are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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