She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
