Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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