Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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