He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize