Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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