I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
