If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
