Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
where am i from again
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
