I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
