Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
