Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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