why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
