worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
