Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
