This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This house was built for laser tag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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