I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
