I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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