Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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