You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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