i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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