What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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