I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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