Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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