But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I look better un-naked...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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