so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
