no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
