Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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