why didn't you poke me back
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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