i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
