I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
