i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
