After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
