We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
