i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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