do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck appropriateness.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
