I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This girl is more easily done than said...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
