You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
