Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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