so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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