Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
